surprisebitch:

babe, dear, and hun sound so weak and cliché. if you were mine, i’ll call you sergeant, general, commander. you’d be my authority figure


lordhazz:

"If you illegally download the album you’ll be arrested"
image


zanetehaiden:

Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it


tescosfinest:

i want to make friends but at the same time no



enhancers:

I tend to laugh when people ask who I’m texting because I don’t text anyone I’m just on tumblr


reverseracist:

omg this is the biggest piece of ironic garbage and IM HERE FOR IT!!!!!!


ex0skeletal:

Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.


nutthing:

r u from europe because europiece of shit


human:

walking barefoot in the locker room of a public pool like

image


sadhoneybadger:

lesbolution:

me: i have depression

person: *suddenly becomes mental health expert, nutritionist, spiritual guide* why dont u try yoga why dont u eat lots of fruit maybe u should exercise have u tried keeping a journal have u tried yoga have u tried meditation have u tried sitting in the sun have u tried patting a dog have u tried exercise yoga in the fruit sun yoga yoga

have u tried not eating gluten??? gluten is POISON. 


lasagna-delrey:

a b c d e f g h i j ayylmao p q r s t u v w x y z


hotwinger:

paris666hilton:

jerkidiot:

my mom always throws old clothes that she has nothing to do with in my closet, and whenever i call her out on it, she says “i have never done that, all of the clothes in your closet are yours”

image

are you sure mom

image

are you sure…


ughjxnna:

OH MY GOD THIS CARD



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Wild Dancing Thanksgivng Turkey